He ain't exactly a Tommy, he ain't exactly a Tar, He ain't too cocky or nothing, like the best blokes never are. They christened him Leatherneck, Jolly and a ruddy old bullock he's been, for if there's a war, afloat or shore, they call on "The Blinkin Marine".

When poor old Belgium was wobbly and O'errun by a torrent of Huns, Antwerp lay naked and listened wide - eyed to the bombs and the guns. It was just a chance in a million for Willie he wasn't so green. But we weren't far wrong when we sent him along, the Leather-necked bloke the Marine.

He's frozen in ice in the Arctic, he's sweated in African heat, he smiled at the welcome at Ypres, he's popped off the guns with the fleet. But where trouble is brewing or something that's doing, then send for "The Blinkin Marine".

They say that all dumps had a dud shell, well - I once saw a Hun that was kind, I once saw a Yank that had no swank and a skipper who'd never been mined. But if you saw the mole at Zeebrugge, when machine guns were sweeping it clean, Then you'll agree there's no such thing, in this world as a dud Marine.

When earth's little canter is over, and the sun burns the colour of lead and the last bugle call is sounding to summon the quick and the dead. There may be a panic by people who don't know what discipline means, but I'll wager my pay the first to obey, will be The last of "The Blinkin Marines".

O'Lord, I've not been too careful, In the things I've said and done, I've boasted too much of my nights on the spree, And the games of Pontoon I've won.

But I've always done my duty, No matter where it may be, Ashore with the Gallant Commando's, Or out with the Fleet at Sea.

So when Gabriel blows his last trumpet, And the reaper, his harvest doth glean, Remember, if I've been a sinner. At least God I've been a Marine.

I never knew an appeal to their courage or loyalty that they did not more than realise my expectations. If ever the hour of real danger should come to England its Marines will be found the Country's Sheet Anchor.

Footsteps, blood red from glories of the past.
Fleeting moments, memories, cannot last.
Hail the heros swathed in gold,
Laurel bedecked men of steel, with manner bold.
Blood red footsteps ever onward plod,
Ever forwards over sunscorched sod.
Through hail and sleet, snow and rain,
Never falter, advancing strain,
Irrespective of terrain.
Through frozen, sunstroked, retching ill,
They are tere to fight and fight they will,
They'll battle with courage, and consummate skill,
For defeat is a far too bitter pill.
They wear a Green beret, they wear it with pride,
They laugh at adversity and brush it aside.
Yet they are but human, they feel fear, they feel pain,
But when they are in action they never complain.
They reach their objective, capture or kill,
What they do they do with a will.
They are men of distinction, the cream of the crop,
They surmount every obstacle, they never do stop.
For they are the finest the worlds ever seen,
The ultimate professional fighting machine.
They are the first and they are the foremost.
They lay their lives on the line for country and Queen,
But they think nothing of it.
They are the Royal Marines.

If there's one thing more dangerous than an Officer with a map it's a Matelot with a Gun.

Never hang around in the Arctic.

Guard these Colours well and remember that, whatever the problem, a Royal Marine Commando is always expected to achieve the impossible.

When they were first raised, Commandos were composed almost entirely of soldiers, with just a sprinkling of Marines; and this seemed to me to be a mistake, for it was above all the Marines who by virtue of their soldier-sailor training, should be entirely suited for Combined Operations and Raids.

The Royal Marines contribution to Operation Haven was described by Dr David Nabarro, the Overseas Development Administration representative, as "an iron fist in a velvet glove".

During exercises I was always intrigued to discover that large numbers of Marines used to queue up outside my helicopter, presumably hoping to be transported in my aircraft. I used fondly to imagine that they had instinctively recognised my talents as a pilot, until it was eventually revealed to me that the reason for my apparent popularity was that they thought my helicopter was better maintained than everyone else's! The Bootneck is a crafty character!

HRH The Duke of Clarence, Admiral and General of Marines 1827

His Majesty has selected for you, the Royal Marines, the badge which I this day, by his permission, present to you - a badge which which you have hardly and honorably earned. From the difficulty of selecting 'The Great Globe itself', as their prosperest and most distinctive badge.

Army Official Voice Mail Message

 What Is a Bootneck !?

 Between the security of childhood and the insecurity of manhood, we find a fascinating species of humans called  “BOOTNECKS”.

 They come in all shapes and sizes.  In trucks.  In boats.  In various barracks.  In love and always in debt.

Girls love them.  Towns tolerate them and the Government supports them - Just.

 A  “BOOTNECK”  is sharp with a pack of cards.  Deadly with a set of darts and protector of the earth on half a dozen pints.  He has the speed of a striking slug - the slyness of a fox - the brains of a rocking horse and the stories of a sea captain.  He has the sincerity of a born liar and the aspirations of Casanova.

 Some of his interests are girls, woman, females, dames, birds, the opposite sex and spending other peoples money.!!!

 His dislikes are answering letters, wearing uniform, provost Sergeants, BFT, the RSM and reveille.

 No one else could cram into one pocket - a crumpled ID card, a packet of crushed cigarettes, a picture of his (or an oppo’s) girlfriend(s), a comb, a bottle opener, an old leave pass and what’s left of last months pay.

 He likes spending money on beer, sometimes on girls, some on horses, some on football pools and the rest...  foolishly.

 A  “BOOTNECK”  is a magical creature.  You can scratch him off your nominal roll - but never off your mind.

 He is your one and only hairy arsed, good for nothing bundle of worries.  But all your shattered dreams come whole again, when he comes staggering home - looks at you with those big bloodshot eyes and simply says..“Hello love Gis a go of your body”

By a WREN?

The Green Beret Men

A word in the house, a stroke of the pen,
The country disbanded a body of men,
With fighting finesse and fitness supreme,
The creme de la creme wore berets of green.

Their training was tough, it had to be so,
How to fight with a knife, how to kill with one blow,
Salerno, Vaagso, Dieppe, St Nazaire.
With impossible odds the Commando's were there.

Their raids so successful that Hitler said,
"If captured, no prisoners, I want these men dead !"
Too late he discovered, his men were not keen,
To battle with these berets of green.

 On D Day, Sword Beach, they were there to the fore,
As they jumped from their craft and made for the shore,
Their contempt for the Nazis was plain to see,
For they wore not steel helmets but berets of green.

 When it was all over, the fighting no more,
The first they disbanded was the green beret corps,
Who went back to their Shire, their Town and their Glen,
A body of gentle, self disciplined men.

Yet the years role by and they still meet, it is said,
To talk - toast their Queen - remember their dead,
Whose memorial stands at the foot of the Ben,
Where they fought for the right to be green beret men.

For our freedom of movement, our freedom of speech,
To those who come after, this gospel I preach,
A word in the house, a stroke of the pen cannot wipe out,
The debt to those green beret men.

Addendum to 
THOSE BERETS OF GREEN
by Lofty Emerton

All is not lost, those berets of green Are worn to this day by each Royal Marine.  
The tradition is carried with a great deal of pride And told in the barracks are the stories world wide.

There are tales of the jungle , fighting the communists red, Of Radfan and Dhala where the sun sears your head.  
Of Cyprus and Suez. Hong Kong and Korea, The Palestine blockade, of wars far and near.

From the tropics to the Arctic, the Royals are all found Ensuring the Flank of Norway is sound,
Commachio company defends the oil rigs And in Northern Ireland they all do their “gigs”

The Falklands conflict, who can forget The blood that was shed on Mount Harriet, 
Green berets along with those wearing red Proved to the Argies the “Lion” is not dead.

The legend lives on and will grow year by year, And Britain's adversaries, the Green Beret will fear.  
As history proves, the Green Beret men In the heat of the battle, can never say “when”.

Convening Order

AT THE COURT AT WHITEHALL THE 28TH OF OCTOBER 1664

present

THE KINGS MOST EXCELLENT MAJESTY
HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE DUKE OF YORK
 LORD CHANCELLOR
EARL OF MIDDLETON
LORD TREASURER
LORD BISHOP OF LONDON
DUKE OF ALBIMARLE
LORD ASHLEY
 DUKE OF ORMOND
Mr VICE CHAMBERLAIN
LORD CHAMBERLAIN
Mr SECRETARY MORICE
EARL ANGLESSY
Mr SECRETARY BERMIT
EARL OF LAUDERDAILL
Mr CHANCILLOR
SIR EDWARD NICHOLAS
THE DUTCHY

Upon a report from the lords and commissioners for the affairs of His Majesty's Navy Royal and Admiralty of this Kingdom this day read at the board;

His Majesty was pleased to order and direct (amongst other things) that twelve hundred Land Soldiers be forth with raised, to be in readiness, to be distributed into His Majesty's Fleet prepared for Sea Service.

Which said twelve hundred men are to be put into one Regiment Under One Colonel, One Lieutenant Colonel and one Sergeant Major, and to be divided into six companies.

Each Company to consist of two hundred Soldiers; and to have one Captain, One Lieutenant, One Ensign, One Drummer, Four Sergeants and Four Corporals, and all the Soldiers aforesaid to be armed with good Firelocks;

All which Arms, Drums and Colours are fortwith to be prepared and furnished out of His Majesty's stores;

The care of all which is recommended to the Duke of Albimarle his Grace Lord of His Majesty's Forces.

In The Beginning.

In the beginning was a word, the word was God.  In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness, and void, and without form.  So God created the heavens and the earth.  He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that the light might pierce the darkness.  And the earth God divided between the lands and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures..

And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors, and he dressed them accordingly.

And the flighty creatures of the air he called airmen.  And these he clothed in uniforms which where ruffled and fowl.

The lower creatures of the land, God called soldiers.  And with a twinkle in his eye, and a sense of humour God gave them trousers too short, and jackets to large, and pockets to warm their hands.  And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them cords, and he gave them ribbons... and patches... and stars... and bells. He gave them emblems... and crests... and all sorts of shiny things that glittered... and devices that dangled... When your God you tend to get carried away.

And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day at 0730 hrs God looked down upon the earth and was not happy.. God was not happy.

So he thought about his labours, and in infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature and this he called Royal Marine. And these Royal Marines whom God created in his own image, were to be of the air, and the land, and the sea.  And these he gave many wonderful uniforms.

He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil.

He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, that they might be sharp and ready..

And he gave them evening and dress uniforms. Sharp, stylish, handsome things, so they might profile with the ladies on a Saturday night, and impress the hell out of everybody.

And on the, 8th day God looked down upon the earth, and saw that it was good.

But was God happy?. No God was still not happy,  because in the course of his labours, he had forgotten one thing.. He did not have a Royal Marine uniform. But he thought about it, and he thought about it, and finally satisfied himself in the knowing, that, well not everybody can be a Royal Marine..

Bandsman's Boots.
By
Ray Lloyd

It was a cold November morning at CTCRM and the band were just marching off having completed the parade when the Band Master Dave Walton shouted out at the top of his voice Where are your boots Bath (Cornet player Bert Bath was wearing shoes) as quick as a flash Bert shouted back ' Cobblers Bandmaster' needless to say the music deteriated drastically & the Bandmaster had words with him after the parade.

 Two Types of Marines
By
Steve Boswell

In the Royal Navy there are two kinds of marines. Submarines and Royal Marines- They both carry sailors.

What is A WREN
Submitted by
Sgt Bug Mark Snell RM

What is a WREN A Wren is a member of one of the most widely known and least understood of all women's services. She is loved by the RAF hated by the WRAC's ignored by the Army and tolerated by the Royal Navy. She is hard to convince easy to talk to but impossible to persuade. A Wren likes stacks of clothes Dances being noticed by Officers Petty Officers and sailors with money. She dislikes ironing staying onboard Chief Wrens parade grounds staying sober and sometimes-other Wrens. A Wren is found on around or under desks of various sizes. During her working hours  she registers expressions of horror  amazement  delight  aloofness and I-don't-care-if-you-are-going-outside-scowl  associated with Pay Officers.

Should you chance to meet her ashore that night however  the transformation is unbelievable. Her face indicates coyness  hidden charm  anticipation  pleasure and sometimes an I-know-how-much-he's-worth leer  also associated with the Pay Officer. A Wren wears her civilian clothes like a page out of Vogue or the latest copy of Woman's Own. This sophisticated effort is sometimes spoiled because generally she insists on walking like a Three-Badge Stoker and shrieks hysterically every time something amuses her. In spite of these alarming habits  a Wren continues to attract men like candles to a moth. This is no doubt due to the fact that on occasions she is wonderfully feminine  incredibly naive and depending upon how much you have had to drink  fascinatingly lovely. A Wren is an enigma. You can love her  hate her or despise her  but when the first night is almost gone and you hold her in your arms what a better ending to the day than to hear her whisper tenderly in your ear  WOULD YOU MIND KEEPING YOUR BLOODY HANDS TO YOURSELF.

A Signal Received in Jan 1978
After the Fire-Fighting Duties

pre-amble...............(Sig's Stuff).................pre-amble
P 201122Z  JAN
FM MODUK
RBDWCA/CGRM
BT
UNCLAS 
DIG LFD 
COSSEC OP 
OPERATION BRAVADO/BURBERRY
1.    FOLLOWING IS TEXT OF LETTER RECEIVED BY SECRETARY OF STATE FROM HOME SECRETARY:
QUOTE: WITH THE FIRE  EMERGENCY SITUATION NOW HAPPILY AT AN END,

PAGE 2 RBDWC A1598 UNCLAS 
I SHOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS MY DEEP APPRECIATION OF THE SPLENDID RESPONSE BY ALL THOSE MEMBERS OF THE ARMED FORCES WHO WERE INVOLVED IN MAINTAINING FIRE COVER THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY. THE FIRE EMERGENCY SITUATION OF THE PAST TWO MONTHS HAS, I KNOW IMPOSED CONSIDERABLE DEMANDS AND STRAINS ON SERVICEMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES, THESE HAVE BEEN MET WITH UNFLAGGING DEDICATION AND FORBEARANCE THOSE SERVICEMEN ENGAGED IN EMERGENCY FIRE-FIGHTING DUTIES HAVE TACKLED THIS DIFFICULT AND UNFAMILIAR ROLE WITH A COURAGE,  A SKILL AND DETERMINATION WHICH HAS BEEN AN EXAMPLE TO EVERYONE AND HAS RIGHTLY EARNED THEM THE ADMIRATION AND THANKS OF THE WHOLE COUNTRY.  I SHOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL WHO HAVE PLAYED A PART IN THIS MAGNIFICENT EFFORT AND SHOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD ARRANGE FOR MY APPRECIATION TO BE MADE KNOWN TO ALL RANKS CONCERNED. UNQUOTE.
2. IN ASKING FOR THE CONTENTS OF HOME SECRETARYS LETTER TO BE MADE KNOWN TO ALL UNITS AND MEN INVOLVED IN FIRE-FIGHTING, SECRETARY OF STATE HAS WRITTEN QUOTE I WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENDORSE WHAT THE HOME SECRETARY SAYS ABOUT THE SPLENDID WAY IN WHICH THE ARMED FORCES DEALT WITH THE EMERGENCY IT IS CLEAR FROM THE CO-OPERATION AND HOSPITALITY WHICH FIRE-

PAGE 3 RBDWC A1598 UNCLAS
FIGHTING SERVICEMEN RECEIVED IN ALL PARTS OF THAT THE COMMUNITY AT LARGE RECOGNISED AND APPRECIATED THEIR MAGNIFICENT EFFORT. THE HOME SECRETARY SPEAKS FOR ALL MEMBERS OF THE CABINET IN EXPRESSING ADMIRATION FOR THE SERVICE FIRE-FIGHTERS AND IN THANKING THEM. UNQUOTE
BT







NNNN

Missing life at sea?
By Mark Snell

Here‘s how to recapture the atmosphere of the old days and simulate living onboard ship in the comfort of your own home. Build a shelf in the top of your wardrobe and sleep on it in a smelly old sleeping bag. Remove the wardrobe bar and replace it with a curtain that is too small.  Wash your underwear in a bucket or sink every night and hang it over a water pipe to dry overnight. Four hours after you go to bed have your wife whip open the curtain shine a strong torch light in your face and say “sorry mate wrong pit”.

Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the centre of the bath and move the shower head down to chest level. Store beer barrels in the other half of the bath. When using the shower remember to shout “Water on” and “water off”, also remember to turn off the water whilst soaping yourself. Every time there is a thunder storm, sit in a rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you are sick. Put oil, instead of water, into a humidifier and set it on high. Don‘t watch TV, except for movies in the middle of the night. For added realism have your family vote for which movie they want to see, then select a different one. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day to recreate proper noise levels.

Have the paper boy or milkman cut your hair with blunt scissors. Once a week blow compressed air up through your chimney. Ensure that the wind carries it over your neighbours house and laugh at him when he complains. Buy a rubbish compactor, but only use it once a week. Store up your rubbish in the other side of your bath with the beer barrels. Wake up at midnight every night and make a sandwich out of anything you can find, preferably using stale bread.  Optional. Cold soup or ravioli eaten out of their cans. Devise your family menu a week in advance without looking in the fridge or cupboard. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times throughout the night. When it goes off, leap out of bed, get dressed as fast as you can, run down stairs and watch the microwave do nothing for four hours. Once a month take every major household appliance completely apart and then re assemble it. Use four spoons of coffee per cup and allow it to sit for three hours before drinking it. Install a small fluorescent light under your coffee table then lie under it and read a book.

Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on all of the doors in the house. Now you will always either hit your head or skin your shins when passing through them. Put lock wires on the wheel nuts of your car. Put on your headphones from your stereo but don ‘t plug them in. Stand in front of your washing machine. Say, to nobody in particular “Washer manned and ready sir”. Stand there for four hours. Say once again to nobody in particular “Washer secured sir”. Roll up the headphones wire and stow them away. When baking cakes, prop up the side of the tin whilst it is baking. When it has cooled, spread icing really thick onto one side to level it out again. Every so often throw the cat into the bath and shout “man overboard”, then run down to the kitchen and sweep all of the dishes from the side onto the floor whilst yelling at your wife for not having secured for sea properly.

Nickname your favourite shoes ‘Steamies‘ then get your children to hide them around the house on a random basis.

Rank Structure
Submitted by Peter Woodward

A General - Leaps multi story buildings in a single bound Runs as fast as a high speed train Moves faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Sometimes gives policy to GOD

A Colonel - Leaps small buildings Runs as a fast as a speeding bullet in sight Walks over rivers with the aid of a Mae West Talks to GOD

A Captain - Clears Nissen huts with favourable winds Recorganises a train two times out of three Can sometimes fire a weapon Walks through puddles Occasionally gets an audience with GOD

A 2nd Lieutenant - Runs into the side of buildings Says "look at the choo choo" Shouts bang bang Makes mud castles takes advice from GOD

A SNCO Lifts small buildings and walks under them Stops high speed trains with one arm Catches speeding bullets in his teeth Freezes water with a single glance HE IS GOD

A Marine - Builds the buildings for GOD to lift Drives the train for GOD to stop Fires the bullets for GOD to catch Fetches the water for GOD to freeze He is the son of GOD

Ex RSM

HE

He was young, around 25 years of age. 
He was tall Lithe of limb and fit. 
He was fair of complexion. 
He was intelligent. 
He was probably a graduate. 
He was a quiet man, probabley very private in civilian life. 
He was a man-manager in the true sense of that phrase. 
He could admonish and approve without a word. 
He was a Senior NCO. 
He served in North Africa, Malta and Sicicy. 
He also served for eight months in Northern Europe. 
He was interested in historic buildings. 
He was off-watch at the Ack Ack site at Hoboken, Belgium, when he went off to visit an historic building. 
He could not have heard the V Rocket' cut out. 
He could not have heard it explode into the building fie was visiting. 
He certainly would not be aware that his off-duty mates, with arms caked in blood and dust, 
were tearing at the rubble to find him. 
He was found his hair was silver white, his eyes were closed. 
He was dead, 
He was EX 3325 Colour Sergeant Harrold, (Harry), Nicholls RM. 
He paid the supreme sacrifice On 231211945. 
He was a credit to the Corps, his rank and his unit. 
He was, in the true sense of the word a mate.

by lain Sherriff MBE 1999

Dave Addison's Bee's

I was with heavy weapons supporting I think X coy 45 Cdo radfan. Well I was on some roof top with a Vickers MMG, GPMG's kept jamming, and incredibly bored when I noticed in the next house to the one I was in some hollow logs with bees flying in and out if them so to pass the time I heaved rocks at them. Big mistake they swarmed I was ok I had a supply chute that I ducked under. A fighting patrol just going out was not so lucky the Cpl in charge was stung on the nuts I was in hysterics nice and safe they couldn't get me, next minute I had this young officer screaming at me to come down from the roof Stand to attention he says put your beret on I did looking quite gallant bits and pieces of uniform hanging off me filthy dirty but a nice clean beret topping this smelly heap of me. he said I am charging you with inciting bees to riot. yes sir I said. About two hours later the pink was flown out to vanish into the nether world of BMH and Netley. this was in 1965.

Margret Thatcher addressing The House 15th June 1982.
Submitted by Bob Pearce

We do not need to negotiate in anyway with the United Nations or anyone else about the British sovereignty of these Islands.  Our forces did not risk their lives for UN trusteeship.  They risked their lives to defend British territory the British way of life and the right of the British people to determine their own future. I hope we have restored once again the dominance of Britain and let every nation know that where there is British sovereign territory it will be well and truly defended and will never again be the victim of aggression. Margret Thatcher addressing The House 15th June 1982.

 FALKLANDS WAR 2 April - 15 June 1982 
Written by a Marine during the trip south on board HMS Intrepid
Submitted by Submitted by Bob Pearce

The men are ready eager to go what they face they do not know but on the day they’ll all be there guns a blazing they’ll not care and while they strive to win the fight those at home will watch their plight, the men who fight they will not rest till all is won they’re Britain's best. 

Berets Red and Berets Green many of both will soon be seen, their rivalries they’ll soon hide as they fight the enemy side by side. Out behind them on the sea a great armada there will be with heavy guns and shells galore, to pound the enemies hostile shore and if they look into the sky a welcome sight will meet their eye, scores of Vulcan's and Sea Harriers knocking down the Argies barriers, men at arms from every service bent on giving hell to Argies men who will not be at ease till all are cleared from land and seas.

So all you Argies in Port Stanley better make white flags and keep them handy cos when we come if they don’t show up in smoke you’ll surely go tell your oppos round the Island have their white flags close to hand and when they see the Green Beret show them fast or start to pray for if one man you deem to slaughter the Royal Marines will show no quarter, so make it comfy where you lie because in that spot you’ll surely DIE.
 

Submitted by;   Yorkie Malone 

There are two kinds of men. Those who dream of war, and those who have nightmares of war.

Noticeboard US Command Post, Khe San, Vietnam Feb 1968
Submitted by Submitted by Derek Pulford JE18, 1963-1986 Transferred AAC Retd 1999

"For those who fight for it life has a flavour the sheltered never know."

Chef or Cook?
Submitted by Jamie.Jemmeson

During a Major Generals Inspection, the General, during an inspection, asked a young Marine what he did, he replied; “I’m a Chef Sir”. The General replied that there were no Chefs in the Royal Marines and that he was a Cook. On moving to the next man (reputed to be Kipper Lynch) the General asked Kipper what he did, Kipper mindful of the Generals retort to the young Marine, stated the he was a Cook, “and how long have you been a Cook”? Asked the General. Kipper replied “Oh about 30 seconds”!

As told by Kipper Lynch... (Reputed)

" Soldier an' sailor too " 
( The Regiment of Marines )

As I was spittin’ into the Ditch aboard o’ the Crocodile, I seed a man on a man-o’-war got up in the Reg’lars style.  ‘E was scrapin’ the paint from of  ‘er plates, an’ I sez to ‘im, “Oo are you? “

Sez  ‘e, “ I’m a Jolly-‘Er Majesty’s Jolly-soldier an’ sailor too! “

Now ‘is work begins by Gawd knows when, and ‘is work is never through;

‘E isn’t one o’ the reg’lar Line, nor  ‘e isn’t one of the crew.

‘E’s a kind of a giddy harumfrodite-soldier an’ sailor too!

An’, after, I met ‘im all over the world, a-doin’ all kinds of things, Like landin’ ‘isself with a Gatlin’ gun to talk to them ‘eathen kings;

‘E sleeps in an ‘ammick instead of a cot, an’ ‘e drills with the deck on a slew, An’ ‘e sweats like a Jolly-‘Er Majesty’s Jolly-soldier an’ sailor too!  For there in’t a job on the top o’ the earth the beggar don’t know, nor do-You can leave ‘im on a bald man’s ‘ead, to paddle ‘is own canoe-‘E’s a sort of bloomin’ cosmopolouse-soldier an’sailor too.

We’ve fought ‘em in trooper, we’ve fought ‘em in dock, and drunk with ‘em in betweens, When they called us the seasick scull’ry-maids, an’ we called ‘em the Ass-Marines;

But when we was down for a double fatigue, from Woolich to Bernardmyo, We sent for the Jollies-‘Er Majesty’s Jollies-soldier an’ sailor too!  They think for ‘emselves, an’ they steal for ‘emselves, and they never ask what’s to do, But they’re camped an’ fed an’ they’re up an’ fed before our bugle’s blew.  Ho! they ain’t no limpin’ procrastitutes-soldier an’ sailor too.

You may say we are fond of an ‘arness-cut, or ‘ootin’ in barrick-yards, Or startin’ a Board School mutiny along o’ the Onion Guards; (1) But once in a while we can finish in style for the ends of  the earth to view, The same the Jollies-‘Er Majesty’s Jollies-soldier an’ sailor too!  They come of our lot, they was brothers to us; theywas beggars we’d met an’ knew;

Yes, barrin’ an inch in the chest an’ arm, they was doubles o’ me an’ you;

For they weren’t no special chrysanthemums-soldier an’ sailor too!

To take your chance in the thick of a rush, with firing all about, Is nothing so bad when you’ve cover to ‘and, an’ leave an’ likin’ to shout;

But to stand an’ be still to the Birkin’ead drill (2) is a damn’tough bullet to chew, An’ they done it, the Jollies-‘Er Majesty’s Jollies-soldier an’ sailor too!  Their work was done when it ‘adn’t begun; they was younger nor me an’ you;

Their choice was plain between drownin’ in ‘eaps an’ bein’ mopped by the screw, So they stood an’ was still to the Birkin’ead drill, soldier an’ sailor too!

We’re most of us liars, we’re ‘arf of us thieves, an’ the rest are as rank as can be, But once in a while we can finish in style (which I ‘ope it won’t ‘appen to me).

But it makes you think better o’ you an’ your friends, an’ the work you may ‘ave to do, When you thimk o’ the Victorier’s (3) Jollies- soldier an’ sailor too!  Now there isn’t no room for to say ye don’t know-they ‘ave proved it plain and true-That, whether it’s Widow, or whether it’s ship, Victoriers work is to do, An’ they done it, the Jollies-‘Er Majesty’s Jollies-soldier an’ sailor too!

Rudyard Kipling

(1) Long ago, a Btn of the Guards was sent to Bermuda as a punishment for riotous conduct in barracks.

(2) In 1852 the Birkenhead transport was sunk off Simon’s Bay.The Marines aboard her went down as drawn up on her deck.

(3) Admiral Tryon’s flagship, sunk in collision in 1893.
From Leigh Dowell ( Mne), 40 Cdo Jan 90-Sept 99

Travel Light, Freeze by night !

This poem was written by a US Marine, stationed in Okinawa Japan 2000. The following is his request. I think it is reasonable…

"PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favour of sending this to as many people as you can?"
Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to ALL service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, He Lived All Alone, In A One Bedroom House made Of Plaster And Stone. Had Come Down The Chimney with Presents To Give, And To See Just Who in This Home Did Live.

Looked All About, Strange Sight I Did See, No Tinsel, No Presents, Not Even A Tree.
No Stocking By Mantle, Just Boots Filled With Sand, On The Wall Hung Pictures Of Far Distant Lands.

With Medals And Badges, Awards Of All Kinds, A Sober Thought Came Through My Mind.
Or This House Was Different, It Was Dark And Dreary, I Found The Home Of A Soldier, Once I Could See Clearly.

The Soldier Lay Sleeping, Silent, Alone, Curled Up On The Floor In This One Bedroom Home.
The Face Was So Gentle, The Room In Such Disorder, Not How I Pictured A United States Soldier.

Was This The Hero Of Whom I'd Just Read? Curled Up On A Poncho, The Floor For A Bed?
I Realized The Families That I Saw This Night, Owed Their Lives To These Soldiers Who Were Willing To Fight.

Soon Round The World, The Children Would Play, And Grownups Would Celebrate A Bright Christmas Day.
They All Enjoyed Freedom Each Month Of The Year, Because Of The Soldiers, Like The One Lying Here.

I Couldn't Help Wonder How Many Lay Alone, On A Cold Christmas Eve In A Land Far From Home.
The Very Thought Brought A Tear To My Eye, I Dropped To My Knees And Started To Cry.

The Soldier Awakened And I Heard A Rough Voice, "Santa Don't Cry, This Life Is My Choice;
I Fight For Freedom, I Don't Ask For More, My Life Is My God, My Country, My Corps."

The Soldier Rolled Over And Drifted To Sleep, I Couldn't Control It, I Continued To Weep.
I Kept Watch For Hours, So Silent And Still And We Both Shivered From The Cold Night's Chill.

I Didn't Want To Leave On That Cold, Dark, Night, This Guardian Of Honour So Willing To Fight.
Then The Soldier Rolled Over, With A Voice Soft And Pure, Whispered, "Carry On Santa, It's Christmas Day, All Is Secure."

One Look At My Watch, And I Knew He Was Right "Merry Christmas My Friend, And To All A Good Night."

John Thurlow and the MGRM 85?/86?
by Jim Timkey

 A man of few words
Mne Den Denegri 1989

"Calm down before you go down!"

The Old Corps
By Jim Ellard

Incident on HMS Ark Royals 1st Commission
By Phil Harrison

Basic Training Quote

• THE BERET OF THE ROYAL MARINE COMMANDO, He who wear's it does so with pride. He who doesn't has no f@*king concept of how hard it is to attain!

• Comfort is an illusion. A false security bred from familiar things and familiar ways. It narrows the mind, weakens the body and robs the soul of spirit and determination.

MURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBAT
Tim Grenville-Cleave

Diplomacy CL style
John Lewis

Close Shave
Russ Conway

Wings
Mick Slunker

Before I joined up I got my wings through 4 Para. My troop stripy in training was a Para( Bonus, not!) Anyway i always used to get asked"where did you get your wings?"

So, on my passing out parade the Adjutant asked me

"where did you get your wings?" to which I replied

"Cash clothing sir" went down like a concrete parachute with the RSM, who was the only one who pinged my sarcasm.

How's it going?
Si Capon

Traffic lights Taunton town centre.

Me Hearty
George F

Last Post
Dan Archer

Greater Love
Noel Mulligan

Come On
Phil Harrison

Indispensable Man
Burt Burton

Some time when you're feeling important
some time when your egos in bloom
some time when you take it for granted
your the most qualified man in the room
Some time when you think that your leaving
will leave an unfillable hole
just follow these simple instructions
and see how it humbles your soul

Take a bucket and fill It with water
put your hand in it up to your wrist
Take it out and the hole that remains there
is the measure of how much your missed

You can splash it around while it's in there
You can stir up the water galore
Yet remove it and then in a moment
The water's the same as before

The moral to this is quit simple
Do the best that you possibly can
Be proud of yourself yet remember
There is no indispensable man.

Basha
Matt Stevenson

Being the only inlying Marine on the staff of the NCO`s Cadre in Neesoon garrison in 1966 I had a grass basha all to myself. However I had to get to it through the outlier`s section. One day after a particularly hot and strenuous "final Ex" of a JNCO`s course I was the first back to the basha and being a wee bit manky I stripped off and with towel round my waist headed for the showers. When I returned all the outliers were there playing cards and waiting for the Sergeant Major [Taff Mowbury] to give them the word "dismiss". I went through to my part and having dried myself off started to get dressed. For what ever reason I took a pair of clean Knicks of the shelf and unwrapping a bar of pusser`s "Tiffin" chocolate from a ten man rat-pack, I started to rub the melted mess up and down the hammock of the pants. When it was nice and gooey I then walked into the guys playing cards and said "look what I've just done" As they stared in amazement and disgust I started to pick the! currently bits of the cloth and start to eat it. Brien Simmonds fell over backwards, Pony Moore and bob Broadbent both had their shoulders wedged tight in the frame of the door and Bill Jarvis was staring so hard that his googly eyes were quite prominent. None of them would come near me for several days and their wives thought I was quite the most disgusting creature that they had ever met. But it was bloody funny.

Picture the scene
Matt Stevenson